Like in many other professions, an author typically needs to be able to forge business relationships to make a living from writing. Whether you’re interacting with an agent, a publicist, a librarian, or a reader, your relationship is the bond. The stronger the relationships, the more likely you will succeed.

Yet most business relationships don’t come to fruition after the initial attempt — even if the match is perfect. You might meet somebody at an author’s convention or when you’re speaking at an event; and by the time you arrive back home, they’re out of mind. You lost a business card, forgot about them, or mixed up your conversations, attributing a discussion to one person when you really had it with a different person.

This doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s life. Memories fade, we lose things, we have good intentions that don’t get fulfilled. But those are also the issues that keep you from succeeding at the highest level.

You don’t have to succumb to these negative consequences. With just a few tweaks in what you do, you can minimize the negative impacts as you continue down the path of success.

Here are some things you can do specific to when you’re meeting people face to face, to ensure the highest success.

 

1. Prep makes all the difference.

You’d be amazed how 5 to 15 minutes of prep can change an “encounter that wallows” into a meeting that has great outcomes for both parties. If you know who you will see, learn a little bit about them in advance — what turns them on, what they have done in the past, what has helped them become who they are today. Your research will help spur conversations that yield results as you find commonalities to talk to them about those common loves, challenges, and organizations that you both support.

Prep also makes a difference to what you say. Many people go to events and when asked a question, need to think up an answer on the spot. But if you have pre-thought how you will respond to questions or topics, you may be more at-ease as you speak and project a confidence that may be difficult to project if you’re thinking up your answers on the fly.

 

2. Listen actively.

This is one of the most difficult things I ask people to do — because we develop habits over our lifetime that make listening more difficult than it should be.

Have you ever excused one of your lapses by telling somebody that you have a bad memory? Or have you embarrassingly forgotten somebody’s name? Most people think their own memories are poor —and most of that doesn’t really come from having a poor memory; it’s from not listening actively.

While somebody is speaking with you, instead of thinking about what you’re going to say in-reply, focus all your attention on the person whose mouth is moving instead of yourself. Put your other thoughts on hold. HARD? You betcha! You won’t find anything harder — it’s a learned skill, not something you’re born with.

To test it out (and frankly to prove it to my colleagues), a few years ago, when my business team was hosting an event for a local business group, I made it a goal to learn the names of all 50 people as they walked in the door — and my memory is no better than yours.

To accomplish this goal, when I greeted them, I would ask their name, repeat it to them and to myself, and use it once or twice in that short encounter. I put lots of effort into putting my own responses on hold to only listen and remember their names. Then after every 5 or 10 people I greeted, I surveyed the room and asked myself if I knew their names before greeting the next guests.

Thirty minutes later, after some business mingling, I got my chance to speak — and from the front of the room, I managed to address all 50 by name as part of my formal welcome to our facility.

Circus trick? Maybe — but being able to do that is now a skill that I have honed that helps me at least a few times each week.

 

3. Record the important stuff.

So I think I just proved that you can remember things a lot longer than you think. But that doesn’t mean you should rely on your memory for the most important details.

Write them down. Put them on your phone. Use whatever method of long-term memory you like best; but don’t solely rely on your own recollection.

Most of us have left events and remembered subsequently that we had a specific discussion with person A when we really had it with person B. We’ve even forgotten entire conversations that happened. Then when we’re ready to take action, we don’t know who we promised what to and thus don’t follow up.

By recording the conversations (including who participated) in a more permanent manner, we’re able to follow up after we leave.

 

4. Take action methodically.

An often-missed step is to create a list of action items as soon as you can after the event ends. That doesn’t mean you need to do each task immediately, just that you know what your actions need to be to make the most of the hours you have already spent.

I like to do that ASAP. If there are one or two that I should do now, I act immediately — and mark them as complete. I then assign the rest to other days depending on their urgency and importance, and note the details related to the goal or mission for which I’m doing the follow-up. (If you’ve watched my NAIWE “Smarter Workdays” webinar, you learned a few of the tips for doing this effectively.)

I wrote in my NAIWE blog post last month about a tool that I created to help make sure I don’t let business relationships fade due to lack of follow up. If you want to make your in-person encounters turn into higher success rates, read that blog to learn more.

As writer/businessperson, the easier you make your follow-up activities, the more successful your business interactions will be. You’ll save time; you’ll reduce your stress; and you’ll accomplish more. The tips I shared above are a small part of how you do that.

 

David Radin is an award-winning author, columnist, CEO, speaker, consultant, and product developer. Two-time finalist for Innovator of the Year and winner of CEO of the Year, David simplifies complex subjects and makes them fun and easy to understand. As national talk radio show host, David reached over a million weekly listeners on 400 stations and XM; and his first book was nicknamed “the Swiss-army knife of high-tech marketing” by industry executives. David concentrates on helping his clients optimize the way they spend their days. His “Time Management in the Age of A.I.” workshops and programs are aimed at giving each participant their own personalized time management framework based on what they do for a living and how they like to do it. His Confirmed suite of apps help his users reclaim and refocus large chunks of time every week. And as a Certified Dale Carnegie Consultant, he can help with change-management, communications, leadership, presentation, and interpersonal skills. David holds an MBA and Certificate in AI Product Management from Duke University, BS from Yale, and has been on Advisory Boards at Penn State University and Oracle. David’s latest book will include content from his workshops.